It is not all that simple for a father to abandon his child, and writing off a dad to be uncaring or as an absentee is always easy to do.
Most people make the mistakes of dismissing most dads without knowing the whole story, and why do fathers abandon their child is a post that will help people understand the clearer picture.
It can be debilitating and confusing for a child to grow up without the father, and this is based on the belief that the presence of a father in the life of a child helps in building confidence and security in the life of the child.
There are records according to UNICEF that claims a child’s low emotional and social well being is based on the fact that the father is absent.
The fact still stands that most children are abandoned not because they share a weak link with their dad, but because their mom and dad share a weaker link.
It makes sense to know the reason why millions of children all over the world end up growing up without the presence of a father in their lives, and these reasons are what we want to share in this post.
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- 1 Why Do Fathers Abandon Their Child?
- 2 Why Would A Father Abandon His Son?
- 3 How Do You Deal With A Useless Father?
- 4 Why Are Fathers Tough On Their Sons?
- 5 Why Do Fathers Abandon Their Families?
Why Do Fathers Abandon Their Child?
Here are some simple reasons why this might happen;
Because They Don’t Have Another Choice
A father will leave the sudden urge to leave if he keeps thinking he cannot be the perfect parent for the child.
There are fathers that think their parents will grow up better without them being in the picture, and these are dad that constantly refer to themselves as ‘deadbeat’ dads.
These are dads that might be struggling with alcoholism or any other form of addiction, so they constantly think they might be a form of bad influence on their kids.
Because They Feel Ashamed
A father might end up feeling like a failure if his marriage ends, and this feeling keeps springing up when they come in contact with their kids or their ex partners.
Even though leaving might not be their choice, they end up successfully phasing themselves out of their kids lives.
The constantly have thoughts of wanting start all over again with another family, hoping they can get it right when they start afresh.
Because Of Bitterness From A Past Relationship
Resentment of a partner can build up if a father goes through a painful separation or divorce, and this might also end up affecting their ability as a parent. The sad part of this is the kids end up getting caught in the middle of this hate and bitterness.
In other cases, most dads find it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with their kids mom since there is no more romance in their midst.
It brings them to the point where they push the woman away, and everything that links them to the woman. This ends up affecting the kids as well.
Because They Feel The Only Obligation They Have Is To Provide
If a father thinks he is capable of meeting up with the financial obligation of his kids then he might not see the need to be present in the child’s life. They think providing is the only role they have to play, but kids would always want more than a father’s financial support.
This tells you that fathers can do more than just giving presents, and the fact is their presence matters in the lives of their kids.
Because They Fail In Accepting A Loss
Some fathers end up having regrets if their relationship with their former partner failed. They end up forever mourning what would have been instead of focusing on what they can do right at that point in time.
Even though it seems that fathers can easily walk out of the lives of their kids, being absent in their child’s life tends to be the least and one of the most hardest decisions a father will ever have to make.
Why Would A Father Abandon His Son?
The straightforward answer to this question is simply because the father constantly believes the son would be better off without him being present.
It is also based on the fact that kids are emotionally conditioned to believe whatever their mom or anyone in their mom’s circle says about the dad.
This tells you that if a man has a bad relationship with his wife and decides to leave his wife, he is going to end up leaving the child as well without giving it a second thought.
How Do You Deal With A Useless Father?
Feeling hatred towards your dad and not having a good relationship with your dad is very common, and these things develop from childhood in some cases.
It might be very difficult and painful to live with, but you also need to find out the best way you can deal with having such a dad. Here are some tips that can help in dealing with such dads;
- Develop a coping strategy by breaking the cycle. This includes remembering few things he did right
- Seeking therapy
- Working towards accepting the type of dad you have so you can easily let go. This will help in cutting off any form of expectation you have of your dad. Living in reality that he is useless will probably bring you a certain amount of peace instead of hating him.
Why Are Fathers Tough On Their Sons?
The truth is a father and son relation helps in molding a boy into a man, and the truth is the impressions a father leaves in the life of his son will still be seen in generations to come.
There are couple of reasons why a father would be tough on his son, and here are some of these reasons;
- They have high expectations of their son
- If the father and son are very similar, such a relationship might be hard to build
- This can also be as a result of the dad not wanting his son to turn out like him or make the same mistakes he made
- Fathers tend to be tough because they want their son to act in a manly manner
- It is also a way to prepare them for life events that might shape their lives
- Dads can also be tough on their sons when they are naturally narcissistic in nature
- A father can be tough based on the childhood trauma he faced as a child too
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Why Do Fathers Abandon Their Families?
Just like we mentioned earlier in this post, the act of cowardice is the first thing that comes to mind when talking about dads that abandoned their families or their kids.
The fact is every situation where this has happened cannot be the same, so let us check out some proven reasons why some dads end up abandoning their families.
- When the father struggles with a feeling of loss
- Struggling with shame and discomfort which could be as a result of a painful divorce, inability to secure child custody, or failure to provide child support
- Relocation. This happens when the father goes out of town trying to search for better ways to improve his life, and he ends up going away from his family and losing a connection they once had
- They do not want to have anything to do with their former wives
- They allow economic times dictate what roles they have to play in the family
It is wrong to justify a father not being there for his children or his family, but there are so many reasons that could push a father to be absent and not just cowardice as so many people think.
We have provided you with some of these reasons, and we hope you find this article helpful and educating.
I am a proud mother of two, a lover and home builder. My love for children gave birth to the bestofmotherearth.com with the aim to cover topics from child health, pregnancy, parenting, family, relationship, struggles in families and also food.