The right time to leave your marriage, is not so easy to find out, especially when it has to do with reasons related to having a bad stepchild.
In society today, we are torn by people who feel like you should do everything to ensure that your marriage works, while others might feel like there is a particular point in the marriage, where you should abandon the commitment and go.
One thing we should understand, is that while marriage is a sacred and beautiful union, there are times when you may need to leave, in order to ensure that you and your partner live the best life possible.
When To Leave Because Of Stepchild
Unfortunately, your stepchild could be one of those issues that may cause this separation. We will be looking at some instances where your stepchild could cause a separation in marriage.
Some reasons why you may be having issues as a step parent
Taking care of stepchildren is usually not as easy as taking care of your own kids. People who are step parents, usually feel like they aren’t listened to enough, or respected when it comes to doing several chores, or adhering to curfew orders.
These things could lead to several fights that could cause lots of damage to the relationship between you both, or even with the main spouse.
And at times, your other spouse do not want to rightly address the matter, maybe because it is something that has to do with their biological kid. Some people even favor their children over the other spouse, and this will definitely not sit well with the person in question.
These bad decisions, could cause lots of rebellious attitudes, and these things could lead to danger to the person in question. At times, these issues could be taken care of, but there are times that the best thing you could do, is to leave the marriage. Signs that show that you should leave to marriage to avoid several issues are;
Negative impact on your relationship with other spouse
If you constantly experience a strife in your relationship with the significant other, you could actually reconsider staying in the marriage. Some stepchildren actually make this their life’s work, and they do not care about the family relationships, if it means getting you out.
If your other spouse who is supposed to be a grown adult cannot help you in ensuring that this issue does not get out of hand, you should consider separating completely from the family.
The stepchild does not want to change
If the stepchild isn’t someone that is willing to change, you could do yourself a favor and leave the marriage. The child needs to know the effect of his or her negative behavior on every other person, and if they still continue with their acts, you should try to leave the marriage before they succeed in affecting you negatively.
When it seems like your other spouse is not doing much when it comes to parenting
Some spouses usually leave the disciplinarian activities to one person, and do not even try to contribute anything. While this may work out for some homes, it is usually a bad idea for families that have a step mom or dad.
If the child does not respect the step parent and he or he is in charge of the disciplinary area, it would cause lots of issues in the home. When this happens and you tell your other spouse but they do not change, you should try to leave the marriage for your peace of mind.
The constant feeling of anger and resentment
It is very normal to feel angry or pissed at children who do not obey authority. Of the child always wants to frustrate you, you could get pissed from time to time. But when this anger and frustration continues, it could affect you in many ways, especially in the mental aspect. You consider leaving the marriage in this scenario.
The issue is hurting your self esteem
If you feel like your inability to train your stepchild is hurting your self esteem, you should consider living the marriage. Do not let anything mess with you, as it could damage you mentally and emotionally. If you are beginning to feel less confident in your self, you should consider leaving the marriage for your own good.
Your stepchild may be sabotaging you
If you notice that your step kid is doing everything to ensure that you have a terrible time, or that you get frustrated, leaving the relationship may actually be a good area. The kid may be feeling like he or she is not getting the required attention by his dad or mom.
This can lead to a very unhealthy relationship between the kid and you ,or his parent. Knowing when to walk away from this kind of marriage, is something that would destroy any unhealthy relationship between you and your spouse later on in life.
If your step child is deliberately hurting your kids
If the well being of your biological kids are at stake, I think you should leave the marriage. If your biological children are feeling uncomfortable and their safety is at risk, make sure that you do everything to ensure that you protect them, and one of these things could be leaving the marriage.
If it is abuse, whether sexual or violent, alert the authorities as that is the best course of action to take.
Ways To Tackle Various Step Child Issues
Be clear on your role
One of the things you should ensure, is that your other partner knows what you are coming into the marriage to do. You should understand that there are various responsibilities in marriage, and both partners have their role to play.
If your partner does not have a vivid picture of the role you want to play in the home, they might begin to expect something different from you.
Practicing effective communication
One of the strategies you can use to ensure that you tackle this issue, is by practicing effective communication with your step kid. The reason why you may be having issues with him or her, could be because there is no understanding between both of you.
Dealing with your emotional issues
Every person has his or her emotional problems, and when marrying a new person, we usually bring it into the new marriage. Processing your own emotions, would help you take care of your step kid’s issue better.
The priority should be your marriage
You should understand that your other spouse should come before step kid. Try to create a good relationship with your spouse, as it is very likely that your step kid will get influenced by the attitude his or her parent shows to you. If you and your spouse have effective communication, you will know how to handle your step child better.
Developing a good relationship with the other spouse, will help you achieve your main aim of keeping the step child in line. If he or she understands that role they have to play, it will help as you both would work together to create the ideal environment, and achieve a good home.
If you are having problems with being a step parent, you should let them know about the issue. Do not keep quiet and try to shoulder the whole responsibility as it will surely tell on you.
Leaving your marriage because of your step child, is not an easy choice to make, but it might be the right one. Understand that while your family comes before any other thing, your life, emotional and mental stability comes before the marriage.
Ensure that you are comfortable in the home, and if there is nothing you can do to ensure that the situation in the family changes, leaving may actually be the right thing.