When it comes to Mother Jealous Of Daughters Relationship With Dad, there could be several reasons for it. You also need to know how to react if you find yourself in this spot, and that is why we have decided to bring you this detailed post.
Mother’s jealousy might be a very burdensome topic but it is certainly not a rare occurrence. The first thing a young child who is receive some ill treatments from her mother would think is that she is to blame for how her mom treats her.
You would almost never find a young child who believes the ill treatments she gets from her mother is as a result of jealousy; they do not even understand the concept of mother’s jealousy just yet.
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Mother Jealous Of Daughters Relationship With Dad
As she grows and matures, she begins to see things clearer and understand the motives behind her mother’s attitudes better. Unfortunately, some form of damage is likely to be done from her young age as she might suffer depression and live in fear of her mother.
When she matures and begins to understand better, with the help of a therapist if need be, she will gradually heal.
Reasons Your Mother Is Jealous Of You
It is very possible for your mother to get jealous of you and there are many possible reasons for jealousy.
Her reasons for being jealous could be the fact that you still have your whole life ahead of you and you get to live the life she no longer can, or the fact that you have a very great relationship with your dad, which she envies at this point, since she believes her husband is giving you more attention than her now.
For any of these reasons, there are a number of attitudes your mother is likely to put up which are clear indications that she is jealous of you. Here they are:
She Gossips About You
A jealous mother is likely to go about gossiping about you and more often than not, the gossips are lies, just to make you look bad in the eyes of others. She feels the need to do this because of her insecurities or feeling less or inferior to you.
She is mostly trying to bring you down so she can feel like the better one again. Of course, she is likely to achieve her aim since in the long run, this attitude can tamper with your own self esteem.
She Is Over-Possessive of Your Dad
Due to the fact that your mother feels like she is less of herself at this moment, she is struggling with low self esteem and insecurity issues which makes her over-possessive and feeling the need to mark her territory when it comes to her husband i.e. your dad.
She is unwilling to share him with anyone. In the event that your dad is feeble and weak , your mother’s attitudes might go without caution since he is not able to caution his wife or come to his daughter’s defense.
This is likely to put a big hole in your relationship with your dad and you end up becoming strangers with both parents; one who is jealous of you and the other who cannot stand up for you.
She Overreacts All The Time
Overreactions are one of the most common attitudes a jealous mother puts up when dealing with you. Her reactions are always overboard, even for the most mundane things.
She flares up and turns the table at the slightest indication that you are actually making a valid point or flares up at the littlest mistake you make.
She Expects The World To Revolve Around Her
Your jealous mother since she is still your mother, wants you to actually do well in life, but because she is jealous of you, does not want you to do so well that you become way better than her.
If you happen to have a big win, she finds a way to do better than you so she can steal the spotlight from off you.
She never wants you to outshine her or steal the spotlight from off her. She expects you to put her needs first before yours. This is the attitude of a narcissist, expecting that the world should revolve around them.
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She Had A Dysfunctional Upbringing
Women who were not brought up with the love and affection of a mother tend to become mothers who cannot also, in return, show love and affection to their kids. They are emotionally distant and hardly feel any emotions towards their children, especially their daughters.
Instead of feeling happy and proud of you over one of your biggest wins as her daughter, all she might feel towards you is resentment since she didn’t get the chance or opportunity to make her own mother proud as a kid. Such mother cannot be relied on as a support system.
She Waters Down Your Wins
When you go home to share the news of your big win with your mother, her jealousy gets the best of her and she waters down and dismisses your win, making it look like it is not as much of a big deal as you are making it out to be.
This is probably because she sees your success as her failure and she is not ready to accept it or concede. This can be very dangerous as it can damage your self esteem the more it repeats itself and the more you let it get to you.
How To Deal With A Mother That Is Jealous Of You
There are important things to put into perspective when dealing with a jealous mother. Your emotional, as well as mental health is very important and you must do well to protect them. Here are few ways to deal with a jealous mother while prioritizing your health and self esteem:
It Might Just Be A Mistake
It is important for you to understand that your jealous mother is just as human as yourself and can make mistakes. She might not mean to act the way she’s been acting lately. It might just be a case of her being way up in her head and unknowingly acting out in a jealous manner.
In this case, a simple conversation can work this out. She is likely to apologize once she realizes her error and do all she can not to get carried away again. Resist the urge to yell when talking to your mother.
She will either accept her wrong and promise to change or get defensive and try to turn it into a fight. Be calm, irrespective of how the conversation is going.
Express your feeling about her attitude towards you and let her know how much you would like for her to change and be nicer to you. At this point, you can drop the talk and wait.
There Is Always A Deeper Cause
Try to understand her motives and reasons for acting the way she does towards you. There is usually a deeper cause, motive or reason, beneath the surface that we see.
These reasons could range from fear of not being enough, insecurity, doubt, wanting love and validation but scared that they may never get it.
It could also be as a result of past hurt, which is most often the case with people who are jealous. View them through the lens of empathy and have compassion for them.
Avoid The Brewing Chaos
You will notice that your jealous mother seems to always be looking for a fight. Avoid it! She will want to cause chaos and conflict between you both and even between you and other people. Do not give in to her tactics.
If you do, you will only be giving her more grounds and license to keep up her antics. Take time away from her and her ball of chaos.
Assess the situation on ground, think about the possible reasons behind the attitudes and take lessons about how not to treat your own children when the time comes. Remember to observe and process things before you react or respond to your jealous mother.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What Is A Good Mother Daughter Relationship?
A good mother daughter relationship is simply one that is devoid of any form of negativity, jealousy, manipulations, or any other demeaning attitudes that can hurt one party’s (most often the daughter’s) self esteem.
To wrap it all up, you can ensure that your mother does not continue to treat you in a bad way and get away with it by setting boundaries. You have control over your life and you get to choose how you want to be treated.
With this guide, you have no business thinking you are to blame for your mother’s mean attitudes towards you and you have a good idea of how to deal with your jealous mother. Please protect your physical, mental and emotional health.
I am a proud mother of two, a lover and home builder. My love for children gave birth to the bestofmotherearth.com with the aim to cover topics from child health, pregnancy, parenting, family, relationship, struggles in families and also food.