One of the main things that being a parent entails, is having something that you love and totally take care of. But in life, reality might no always be favorable to you, or whatever you are taking care of.
Not every relationship between parents and children usually end well. Infact some usually end in the worst way possible, making a repair very hard and almost impossible. This usually leads to broken families, and the issue of various children ignoring their parents.
When kids are younger, it is very easy to control them because they do not have so much experience of the world like you do. It is also easier because your kid also relies on you for various needs like food, shelter, education etc. And while you might have some disagreements, the kid does not go as far as totally ignoring you.
Is It Normal For Adult Children To Ignore Their Parents
This usually changes when they start coming of age. Once your kid reaches 18 years of age, they have this urge to do what they like and start making crucial decisions for themselves.
They might even begin to lash out at you for poking in their business, even though you might just want to contribute to your child’s well-being. At worst, you could get totally ignored and this can make you feel very bad. Below, we will be talking about parent estrangement, and what to do over this issue.
Why do some grown children tend to ignore their parents?
Before we extensively talk about this issue, I should let you know that the act of ignoring someone means different things to different people.
Some people might feel ignored because they don’t meet up with their children living in a far place. You should know that many people see relationships in a different light, and they might not be feeling what you do feel.
But there are several ways you can know if your child is actually ignoring you. An example is when your child has not reached you in a year, even through a mobile phone. It is usually impossible to not contact people you care about for a whole year. According to some research, some other reasons are;
- Emotionally related abuse
- Conflicting expectations
- Family roles
- Different value system.
- Uninvolved parents
- Mental issues
- Marriage and in law issues
- Traumatic experiences.
What happens when a parent is ignored by their child?
Parents who are ignored by their children usually feel very bad about it. Some of them may not know how to feel , while some are usually overfilled with negative emotions. Rejection is a very bad thing, and when it comes from your kid, the effect could even be worse. It usually results in the following things.
If your family usually has holidays yearly, the fact that your child is not present, will make such a joyful occasion turn to a sad one.
Many parents want their children to be as close to them as possible. When parents are ignored by their children, it could make your parent feel like they are mourning. It usually feels very sad, and your parent may feel like you hate them.
Parents usually look up to seeing their little child grow into fine adults, and most of them usually anticipate the conversations that they would have with their grown up kids.
When the kid starts ignoring them at adulthood, it could cause lots of negative emotions, and the person may end up not taking care of themselves properly, which has it’s own problems.
What should parents avoid saying to their child?
As a parent, you should understand that adults do not forget some words or sentences said to them as kids. Infact they may use it as a reference when they even grow up. Various negative experiences will surely stick with them, making estrangement from parents I’m adulthood a possibility.
Knowing this, you should try to avoid saying words that could internally hurt a child. If your are correcting him or her, you should try to do so with love, and ensure that your child is always comfortable with you around.
How often do adults usually interact with their parents?
Only few adults actually hold conversations with their parents everyday. And as time passes, the percentage increases.
You should understand that no every person is free enough to have time for a daily conversation with their parents, especially when they have various responsibilities to take care of. So you should not be worried if your adult child does not talk to you everyday, or every week.
How do you cope if you notice that your grown child is ignoring you?
If you are a parent, and you think that your grown up child is ignoring you or does not want to have anything to do with you, there are some things you can do to keep yourself in the best condition possible. You should not stress your self physically, mentally or emotionally. Things you could do in this moment are;
Looking for support
Being ignored by your child is actually a very difficult issue to cope with. It can be very traumatic, as the importance of people children to them, is usually a very basic thing.
You should try to reach out to as many people as possible that could aid in comforting you, and you should do things that make you happy. Do not stress yourself too much, and for the time when the issue is still unresolved, do not put any strain on your health.
Do not try to return the favor
One thing you should never do in cases like these, is try to do the same thing your child is doing. Try to reach out to them and let them know that you are always open for peace talks. Continue to play your role as a parent after all, you should be the more mature one.
Do not let your anger get the best of you
Always try to be very peaceful. Do not start fueling the conflict as this is a very bad thing to do. Always leave the door open for reconciliations and ensure that you try to amend the broken relationship with your child.
Try to listen and reason with your child
If you eventually get the chance to engage in a conversation with your child, do not start defending yourself but always be eager to listen to your child. You should try to understand them self before you try to make them understand you.
Do not raise your voice at your child, or start saying hurtful words to them. Remember that they are adults now and they have their own ideals.
Check This Out – How To Discipline An 18 Year Old
What is a toxic mom?
A toxic mom, is one that usually ignores the boundaries of their children. They usually withhold love, or show affection only when they want to benefit from it.
Toxicity is usually something that you cannot hide, and it usually shows it self in many ways. You should try to avoid being a toxic person, especially when it comes to raising or interacting with your kids.
Finally, if you and your child finally come to an agreement and reconcile, you should try to leave whatever transpired in the past, and do your best to build a better relationship. Continue being the best parents you can be, whether your child is little or an adult.
Enjoy your day.