Becoming an Adolescence is a difficult phase in most teenager’s life. Wanting to act like an adult, trying to show independence, testing their parent’s limits, they will tend to start defying and disobeying the rules and regulations of their parents or other authoritative figures.
Most Teenagers are trying to find out who they are and act upon their new age, and in some things, they might start to act rebellious, disrespectful, spiteful, and even angry. These behaviors are considered normal during teenage years, but just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it is right or acceptable.
A parent needs to know how to tame their defiant teenager to have things under control in their home. The following are some ways to discipline your defiant teenager rationally:
How To Discipline A Teenager Who Is Defiant
1. Do not make a warning to your teenager more than twice; some parents will overlook when their teenager repeats an act they have been told not to and will warn them again and again.
To punish a defiant teenager, you must avoid the repetition of warnings. When they have been warned and make the same mistake again, they must be punished. If forgiven, it will only encourage them to test your authority again and again.
2. You need to set up important rules, restrictions, and limits, and stick with them, be serious about them, place a particular consequence for defying or breaking those rules and make sure to exert the particular consequence on your teenager if the rule is broken.
Do not make a thread about the consequences of breaking the rules, or else your teenager will only see you as a bluff, and you will gradually lose your authority if you do that. Also, do not make the mistake of cutting the consequences short or forgiving them when they apologize. Instead, make them carry on their punishment; then, you forgive them afterward, do not seem hurt or pity for them.
3. Acting emotionally whenever your teenager acts defiantly can make you lose the grip you have on the situation at hand. Your teenager’s behavior can be anger, and it will make you angry too, and the situation can get off hand as well. So it is best to think and plan, to be able to pass your message calmly to avoid more conflict in the home.
4. Complimenting, praising, patronizing, and promoting them whenever they act right, clean their room, do the right thing at the right time. Will make them think about the way you acted; they will like it and will want to continue to impress you the more.
Do not only scold when they do something wrong try to balance things, so they will not feel that you always condemn only when they do something wrong and make them feel they can’t do anything right. Instead, acknowledge their little effort on good behavior.
5. Reduce the free time and assign more responsibilities when they act defiant, increase the number of chores. For example, knowing if they don’t arrange their room, they would do extra laundry, which will push them to do the right thing at the right time.
When they show they can be responsible, can you give them their free time or the privilege to use it? But, on the other hand, when they lose their freedom for a while, it will make them act right and accept the responsibility for their bad behavior and do only the right things.
6. Sometimes, a defiant teenager can cause family conflicts, which of many you could have avoided; some teenagers will pick an argument to waste time and delay complying with the set rules with Petty and unreasonable words, which are not supposed to be an issue. Instead, identify and avoid minor and unnecessary arguments or disagreements. Then, concentrate on the main issue at hand for peace to reign.
7. It is important to portray a model-like behavior in the sense that being disrespectful to their parents, elders, teachers, or other authoritative figures is something teenagers often do. And most parents respond in a rude way or with foul language, which is wrong for an adult to show such frustration or show that they are not in control of their emotions.
Acting disrespectfully to your teenager as they do to you will only make Your teenager assume that they continue to be rude.
7. When teenagers act defiant, rude, disrespectful, bad, inappropriate, parents often wish they are better; they think they are bad parents or do not do their best as a parent.
Do not give in to the negative thoughts going on in your head; you only need to speak to someone about your difficulties with your teenager, either a close friend, a support group, a therapist, a family member, or even a psychologist.
It would help if you had someone in your shoes to listing and understand your problem, and you will feel better afterward.
Conclusion – How To Discipline a Defiant Teenager
In conclusion: You should remember you were once a teenager and made a few mistakes, so you should be considerate and have compassion and empathy for your daughter or son. Your teenager will experience different changes during their adolescence years, body changes, mood swings, becoming an adult, growing more, but it does not cause war, anger, or conflict.
Raising an adolescent can prove to be a strive for survival, and it isn’t easy to handle, but they are still your child. So being on the lookout for any new problem in their character, you should not avoid all the good and positive characters they have. Do not forget to compliment them, appreciate, support, love, and care for your teenager. And enjoy the new human your teenager is becoming.
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When To Seek Help From A Doctor
When your teenager’s defiant behavior has gone really far, and all methods to discipline him or she has proven to be fatal attempts, in the space of 6 months or more, you should contact your doctor, a psychiatrist, or a psychologist for help.
Your child may not just be going through the stress of adolescence. But, still, Defiant Disorder shows continuous defiance, hostile behavior, or disrespect towards older people in an authoritative position.