How Do You Deal With A Negative Father

Your father has really been a handful to deal with. He complains more than he commends you, if he ever does), he refuses your help and gets you frustrated and exhausted every time. You begin to wonder why he acts the way he does and how you can either help him get better or cope with the situation if he does not get better.

This article is set to answer all of those questions. Dealing with and managing a negative father will come to you easier after reading this article. Let’s go!

Signs Of A Negative Father

If you have a father who complains more often than not and you never seem to be able to do right by him, nothing you do seems to be good enough, no matter how you try, you might have landed yourself a negative father.

A negative father is either complaining that you do not do enough for him or that you are treating him like a child and telling him what to do or that you are only trying to get rid of him by putting him in a nursing home (for older fathers). Nothing you do seems to be enough. You can hardly please him.

A negative father constantly makes you feel bad and incapable since he is always comparing you to your siblings or any other person.

Spending time with him is exhausting. He complains and criticizes you a lot, leaving you drained and exhausted with his unending drama.

He wants to be center of attention every time. He rarely asks about you but spends all the time talking about himself.

A negative father finds every opportunity to play the victim, blaming you for everything that goes wrong.

He keeps record of every little thing he does for you and you would not hear the last of it.

How Do You Deal With A Negative Father

To know exactly how to deal and cope with a negative father, it is important that you try finding out and understanding why he is being negative. Here are a few possible reasons your father is acting negative:

Suffering from Alzheimer’s disease (loss of memory) or general mental degeneration could be really frustrating and result in negative attitudes like anger, disorientation, irritability and mood swings. In such a case as this, you father might become negative as he gradually loses the ability to do many things by himself, without needing help.

If your father is suffering from any health condition like diabetes, brain issues or arthritis, he could also become negative towards you due to the pain of the ailment.

You would agree with me that social interaction is a basic daily necessity for humans. Your father’s negative attitude might have stemmed from boredom, since he no longer goes to social events or has as much of a social life as he did while he was younger.

As parents age, they become more prone to depression and anxiety as they develop one health condition or the other. This could be the case with your father. With this depression comes a high level of irritability; he gets easily irritated.

What To Do When Your Dad Is Negative

Negative parents are very difficult to please as whatever you do rarely counts for anything. Rather, your efforts are met with complains and a negative attitude. Although you might not be able to cure your father of his negativity, you can learn to handle him. Here are a few tips:

1. Never take your father’s negative attitude to heart. It is not your fault that you do not seem to do anything good enough. Remember, you can hardly please a negative father. Tell yourself that you are enough, that you do enough and trust that your efforts are valuable.
2. It is important for you to understand that aging is not tantamount to depression, irritability, mood swings or anxiety. If you discover any of these symptoms in your father, you might need to get him help, as his attitude could be as a result of health conditions like Alzheimer, infection, or any untreated pain.
3. Empathize with your father, make him understand that you know how hard it must be for him to be dependent and unable to do many things anymore.
4. Get creative activities to engage your father in. Avoid leaving him by himself or in isolation. Basically spice up his routine. Get people to come around him, bring him to social events. You could also teach your parents to use social media like Instagram and Facebook to keep them busy and connected to the world.
5. If the negative attitudes do not reduce or it gets even worse, consider getting help for your dad. You could get him caregivers and employ people for housekeeping and other chores around the house. With this, your dad has fewer things to criticize you about.
6. Take time to breathe, go for regular exercises to let off steam and cool off, literally take a break from dealing with your negative dad. This would help you cool off and get ready for another time of negativity. If you are not able to calm down and you still feel angry at your dad because of his negativity, consider therapy.
7. You must be able to recognize when your efforts are not really helping nor making any obvious difference. Instead of getting worked up over it, accept it and move ahead.

How To Live With A Negative Parent

Here are a list of thing you must remember to do when living with a negative father:

• Accept the situation as it is.
• Avoid retaliating when your negative father offends you. There is no point to it. Retaliating will only end up aggravating the situation.
• Do not doubt yourself. Be sure not to judge yourself based on his opinion of you.
• Get yourself a confidant, someone you can talk to and express how you feel to, without holding back. You will find that you feel better after talking to them.
• Please, take care of yourself. You have your life to live, as your negative father does. Do not get yourself worked up with issue you do not have control over. Keep yourself happy.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How Do Adults Deal With Difficult Parents?

There are a number of ways to deal with a difficult parent as an adult but it is most important that you resist the urge to please a difficult parent. Trying to please a difficult parent will only leave you feeling frustrated when all your efforts are still not appreciated in the end.

Also remember that they will always try to guilt-trip you; don not fall for it. Do not expect too much from a difficult parent. They will almost always disappoint you when they do not meet your expectations. Finally, whenever you are speaking with or confronting a difficult parent, be assertive and ready to stand firm on your decision.

Conclusion

Although it might seem like a difficult task, dealing with and handling a negative father is not impossible. Identifying the reason behind your dad’s negative attitude and conditioning your mind to the possibility that he might not change will help you deal with a negative father and also put your emotions and expectations in check.