Relationships are meant to fulfill certain needs for the people in the relationship. People get into relationships to satisfy emotional, financial or even physical needs. The most important of these needs is the emotional needs. If a relationship is not emotionally satisfying or fulfilling, then it would have lost its essence.
When a daughter’s relationship with her father does not afford her the love, care and affection that she craves from a father, or vice a father’s relationship with his daughter does not give him the love, care and affection he craves from a daughter, such relationship is bound to be emotionally distant.
This article focuses on the signs and reasons behind emotionally distant father-daughter relationship, the effects of an emotionally distant father on a daughter and how to heal such relationships and make them better. Read on!
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Signs Of An Emotionally Distant Father-Daughter Relationships
Criticism becomes the order of the day.
In an emotionally distant father-daughter relation, criticism is the order of the day. It is normal to disagree with a person’s opinion or thoughts, but what is not okay is criticizing and concluding that they are being primitive because of their thought patterns. T
he father is always criticizing the daughter’s ways and general life choices. In the same vein, the daughter sees no good in her father, he never does anything right in her eyes.
They both keep important details from each other.
They both do not see the need to share important news with the other. When either of them has an important news, the other person gets to find out from a third party, maybe the girl’s mother or sibling.
This is because they do not hold each other with any level of importance and do not think the other needs to know every detail about them. This is a clear sign of emotional distance.
Father and daughter avoid spending time with each other.
Since there is no emotional relationship between the father and daughter, spending time together tends to be boring as there is usually nothing to discuss.
For this reason, both father and daughter begin to avoid being around or spending time with each other. The moment this begins to happen, it is obviously a case of an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship.
Every conversation results in arguments
When both father and daughter can hardly have a conversation without it resulting in a heated argument, this is a clear sign that they are emotionally distant from each other.
Of course, the arguments almost always never have a concrete cause. A daughter might ask her father a harmless question about his personal life, but instead of giving a simple answer, he might flare up and get annoyed at her for prying into his personal life.
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Reasons For Emotionally Distant Father-Daughter Relationships
A daughter who did not get to have her father around during her childhood is likely to be emotionally distant from him if he shows up later in her life. Bond and intimacy between a father and his daughter are built as they spend time together. It will therefore, be no surprise if they have an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship.
Children are not the greatest fans of a father who is mean to their mother. A girl child who witnesses her father being mean to her mother or even beating her, she will develop a great dislike for her father, and her notion of him would be nothing close to positive. She feels for her mother and begins to withdraw from her father emotionally.
It could be that there is a past hurt either of you is carrying that was caused by the other and this has caused an emotional detachment between you both. It could be that your father insisted on making decisions for you and didn’t allow you to make any decisions for yourself, even though you were old enough.
When this is left unresolved, this just breeds hurt and anger towards her father and she becomes instant from him. They both act like strangers around each other.
Strict fathers will most likely have an emotionally distant relationship with their daughters. Strict parents have a notion that instilling fear into their kids and being strict with them is the only way they can have control over a child’s like and the only way the child can turn out good.
Quite the contrary though. Children get fed up and can hardly put up with strict parents. A girl who was brought up by a strict father will be withdrawn and distant from her father. To her, he is only a disciplinarian you obey and not a father you share emotions with and confide in.
Introverted and reserved people who prefer to keep to themselves rather than mingle or spend time in the company of others would end up being emotionally distant with others.
If a girl has an introvert father who prefers to be alone than spend time with her, gradually, she learns to not depend on him and begins to get emotional support elsewhere. This puts a strain on their emotional relationship.
Psychological Effects Of An Absent Father On A Girl Child
What a child grows into is largely dependent on how their parents bring them up. Children who grow up with emotionally distant parents tend to become narcissists, have personality disorders, have problems being attached, and become socially invalid.
Worse still, a girl who was emotionally distant from her father might grow up and also have issues being emotionally attached to her own children as she has gotten used to a life of isolation and detachment from her parent.
A girl child who grows up with an emotionally absent dad is likely to start indulging in sexual activities quite early in their lives. This is because they do not have a father that is concerned about their personal lives. They also struggle with depression and other addictions like alcoholism and hard drugs.
How To Heal An Emotionally Distant Father-Daughter Relationship
If an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship is not resolved and taken care of early enough, the daughter will bear the biggest brunt and have a very awkward adulthood. It is only wise to heal a distant relationship before it causes permanent damage. Here are a few tips to heal an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship:
Find out the reason or the cause of the emotional distance. Usually, the reasons are always very minute and insignificant, they shouldn’t even have been issues in the first place.
Once you find out the reason and realize its insignificance, then you should drop the issue and move on. Make up your mind to begin to see the good in your father and love him. This also goes for the father. With time, you both will become best of friends ; you only have to take the first step to becoming friends.
Learn to appreciate each other. Don not give room for criticisms. Appreciate efforts, opinions and the uniqueness of your personalities. As a daughter, appreciate your father’s efforts since your childhood days. As a father, appreciate your daughter’s efforts and her opinions.
Make efforts to spend time with each other. You will find that you both have a lot more in common than you know and the bond between you both gets stronger. Spending time with each other can heal an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Why Are Fathers Important To Daughters?
More than her dependence on her mother, a girl child looks up to her father as a model. She looks to her father for emotional and physical security, and as the head of the home.
Most of the reasons behind an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship are usually very insignificant but as they are allowed to continue, over time the distance becomes bigger and they end up having an emotionally distant relationship.
Following the steps proffered in this article will yield positive results in healing an emotionally distant father-daughter relationship.