Family is a very good thing. Getting to know your loved ones, is very vital if you are actually bent on creating a good environment for everyone. Many people prefer the nuclear family type, while others may choose to live with their extended loved ones.
Knowing this, it is very possible that they may be issues that would arise, as many humans usually have different conflictive perspectives that govern their little lives.
As a family whether nuclear or extended, there are many factors that could actually affect the state of your home. One of those factors that may affect your home, usually occurs as a result of the type of mother in-law you have, especially if you are a woman.
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Can Mother In Laws Ruin Relationships
Mother in-laws are usually portrayed as very judgmental, over controlling, and easily agitated people that you definitely would not want interfering in your marriage.
This is usually not something you should conclude on when going into a relationship with your significant other, but it is also something you should be aware of, because there have been many instances to actually back this claim.
You should always understand that protecting yourself and your loved ones, is something that should never be taken lightly, especially when you are dealing with issues like these.
That being the case, here are some signs that you should look out for, to know if your mother in-law could actually be a trigger to ruining your family’s relationship or not.
Signs To Look Out For
It takes little things for a relationship going at a very favorable pace to actually rose dive down into nothingness. These signs are things that you should definitely take note of, as they might actually be detrimental to your relationship’s health. Some of these things are;
Your mother in-law always thinking she’s right.
As humans, it is always in our nature to err and offend people. What makes us different from various animals, is that unlike them, we actually have the ability to rectify those wrongs and make pleas to whoever is offended. Some mother in-laws always feel that they are always right.
This does not only cause breaches in the relationship, but it could also disturb you mentally, especially if your husband or boyfriend starts supporting his mother.
You should always try to know if your mother in-law actually has the courtesy to admit fault when she is in the wrong, and if you notice that she is not that kind of person, it would do you and your family good to try avoid such a person, as they have the tendency to do more harm than good.
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Dismissive in nature
Another thing to look out for, is whether she is dismissive in nature. Some mother in-laws would definitely not aid you in anything that does not concern them. This should let you know the type of person you are actually dealing with, and give you incentives on how to follow through such a person.
If she does not listen to whatever you have to say, and feels like your contribution to anything at all is meaningless, you should always ensure that you definitely don’t let her get to you, as you would be giving her what she actually wants. You could let your husband or spouse know about issues like these as they could really be of help.
Total clarification of their dislike
Some of them actually let you know of their dislike from the onset. They do this with their communication, and you might witness this in vivid ways before the marriage. Since they can’t say it to your face, it is possible that they are actually hoping you would understand their wishes.
If you luckily notice such attitude, it is very essential that you do something useful about it. You could let your husband know, or better still leave that partner, if things start getting worse. Do not enter into a marriage that could make you start regretting later due to its complications.
She always wants you to serve her and comply to her every demand
Some mother in-laws feel like you should not have a will of your own, and they might even go as far as wanting to run your home for you. Mother in-laws with this problem, would want you to adopt her ideas, culture religion etc.
She might want you to cook the way she does, and do everything the way she likes it which is actually not a good thing. If you notice she is like this, always try making your stance known to her, thereby letting her know who is actually in charge. Never play into her hands, as it could cause complying to her expectations at your own derail.
Disrespecting your words, choices or personal space
Some mother in-laws do not know the importance of privacy and this might actually cause lots of issues for you. If you notice that she is always coming to your house constantly without an invite, you could let her know that she is actually trespassing.
Your private space should never be invaded, and you should always make sure that you are comfortable in your own home.
Using emotional games on you or your husband
There are those mother in-laws with the drive to always be in charge, but without the charisma or presence to showcase it. These ones usually play the emotional card every time things don’t go the way they actually want it to.
They are usually very manipulative and are Masters in guilt tripping people. If you or your spouse do not support her or side with her, she might intensify it, or use a more direct approach. These ones scream disaster, and should be dealt with at an early stage.
A narcissist and someone who loves public acceptance
If your mother in-law is someone who loves an audience and is more concerned with public appearances that actually doing what’s right, she might pose lots of issues to your home, especially if she has gotten too attached to her child.
People would love her outside, and that alone is enough for her as she would keep doing things that are frustrating to say the least.
If she’s a narcissist, she would be seeing her children as various extensions of herself, and this would definitely affect them negatively as she would be very hell-bent on deciding everything for you or your spouse, which would definitely be detrimental to your marriage.
How to deal with mother in-laws like these
One thing you should be aware of ,is the fact that you cannot swap your mother in-law for another, so you can only do things like dealing with her and the threat she poses to your peaceful relationship. Some things you can do are;
Knowing why she is acting like this
You should understand why she is acting like this, as this will help you identify various ways on how to settle any indifference you and her may have.
Always keep conflicts at a minimal level
Do not let her make you lose control over yourself. Always make sure that you do not engage her more than needed. This will make it easier to solve whatever issue that is at hand. If she is just hell bent on frustrating you, giving her a cold response will make her lose interest at a point.
Ask for help from your partner
Always make sure your partner is aware of what is going on, as it’s their mother you are dealing with, so it is only valid of their child have better ways of handling her than you do.
A relationship is something that requires two people to work. If one person is taking all the burden alone, sooner or later it could actually cause a breakdown. In issues like these, it is preferable that you and your partner work together to ensure that nobody does harm to something as beautiful as this.
I am a proud mother of two, a lover and home builder. My love for children gave birth to the bestofmotherearth.com with the aim to cover topics from child health, pregnancy, parenting, family, relationship, struggles in families and also food.